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I'm a thirty six year old mother of two children - Emma is fourteen, Ryan is ten. I have had back problems for the past twelve years. The first episode, shortly after a long flight to Australia with my then two year old daughter, involved a slipped disc; three years later, it happened again. On both occasions it took me a good three months to be fully back on my feet and able to feel part of the family again. I remember lying in bed and feeling totally useless as my mother in law scrubbed and cleaned my bathroom! After that, I had various pulled muscles, trapped nerves etc. Even to the extent that bending down and picking things up from the floor meant a sudden tweak and off I went again for a few days. In between times I was mostly OK. A couple of summers ago, whilst on holiday, I pulled a muscle in my back and have not recovered since. I started with physio appointments and actually felt an improvement with daily stretching etc, but after a while I started to experience terrible hip pain. For several months I tried to put it to the back of my mind and not tell a soul, but it just seemed to continue. Then I travelled around the NHS circuit. A Rheumatologist ruled out arthritis of the hips and was convinced the pain was 'purely referred pain from the lower back'. Eventually I saw a Scope practitioner who referred me for an MRI Scan, this revealed complete loss of disc space at the very low back, degeneration of the bottom two discs and slightly higher up the back, a bulging disc. I was basically told that was it and to get on with it. There was nothing they could do because I was too young. We had booked a family holiday to Australia for summer 2001 which we postponed as I felt I couldn't cope with such a long flight. We rearranged to go in December 2001. Having been given what was apparently a final diagnosis, I just appeared to get lower and lower. I was finding work hard to cope with and continuously took painkillers. After another hospital appointment I discussed my concerns about travelling to Australia and was told to go and enjoy myself, having got a muscle relaxant drug for the flight. Still unconvinced my husband and I started to look into what to do. I could not bear the thought of letting my family down and cancelling. The children were so excited and looking forward to a well-deserved break. My husband became increasingly worried that I was on a downward spiral, becoming depressed and finding it hard to cope with anything. I went to my doctor to discuss these issues, and on the way out, we came across a BackCare leaflet for a new local branch. In desperation I phoned and spoke to Joy Bussey who was wonderful. She informed me about the BackCare Helpline and posted me loads of info. I phoned the helpline and had a very long chat about me!!!How I was feeling, my fears of my holiday, the possibility of cutting down my working hours and generally on just how low I felt. This was a real turning point for me, talking it through with someone made me realise how much I needed to get back on track and become a wife and mother again. With just three weeks to go to our intended holiday, my doctor had to sign me off of work for three weeks, as I was not coping with work or home. In those three weeks it finally began to sink in just how desperately low I was. Those three weeks gave me time to rest and relax and get my head around what was wrong with me - I cut down on the painkillers and started planning for our holiday, still scared to get too excited, but desperately needing a break. I managed the 24-hour flight by spending most of it standing and pill popping! When we arrived in Australia I spent the first few days in a daze. I had done it, and I knew I would manage the flight home. We all had a wonderful holiday, I enjoyed the sun, doing nothing(!) and spending time as a family again. I found it hard to sit on the beach - but it's always handy having someone sitting on the Prom as it stops the sand getting into the seafood lunch. We are back home to reality now. But since January I now work part time, I have a cleaner, and life seems so much better. I still suffer chronic back pain but my head feels clearer! I feel like I'm now in charge. I take painkillers only when I need them (why suffer on a bad day?). I still feel I'm stuck in a lousy NHS system but I'll take whatever help I can squeeze out of them - but I now know I can help myself with the care, love and support of my wonderful family. I am also Chairperson of the new Hillingdon District Branch, which I have found invaluable. Being able share experiences, offer each other support, find people just like me and learn about unconventional medicine through our speakers has been fantastic. I have made so many friends through the branch and the wonderful committee that we have. We meet monthly in Ruislip and all share a common problem BACK PAIN.
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